Season 12 · 2025

Week 3

The week

Box scores

QB Josh Allen BUF “Jesus Josh” 23.02
QB Justin Herbert LAC “Bustin’ Slurpert” 15.60
RB Chase Brown CIN “Pound Town Brown” 2.00
RB Jahmyr Gibbs DET 21.90
RB James Cook BUF “Let James Cook” 17.80
RB Tony Pollard TEN “STILL Zeke’s Father” 11.90
WR Justin Jefferson MIN “Bustin’ Befferson” 7.50
WR Amon-Ra St. Brown DET 13.70
WR Garrett Wilson NYJ “Guantanimo Garrett” 14.40
WR Marvin Harrison ARI “Ass Sucker” 4.40
WR Mike Evans TB “Massive Sack Mike” 9.30
WR Rome Odunze CHI “Dome Oh-Cumsies” 12.20
TE Travis Kelce KC “Certified Swiftie” 2.60
TE Harold Fannin CLE 2.50
FLX Hollywood Brown WR · KC 4.20
FLX Ricky Pearsall WR · SF “Quicky Queers-all” 11.70
FLX Emeka Egbuka WR · TB 8.50
FLX Romeo Doubs WR · GB 2.50
K Jake Bates DET “Jake MasturBates” 9.00
K Harrison Butker KC “Women’s Rights Advocate” 13.00
DEF Buffalo Bills BUF 2.00
DEF Pittsburgh Steelers PIT 16.00
Bench 34.10 9.90
DEF Philadelphia Eagles PHI 13.00
RB Blake Corum LAR 5.30
TE Dallas Goedert PHI 9.30
WR Rashid Shaheed NO 4.20
WR Matthew Golden GB 6.10
RB Tyler Allgeier ATL 0.40
RB TreVeyon Henderson NE 4.70
RB Joe Mixon HOU 0.00
RB Jerome Ford CLE 1.00
RB Aaron Jones MIN 0.00
RB Ray Davis BUF 0.00
TE George Kittle SF 0.00
QB Justin Fields NYJ 0.00
RB Dameon Pierce HOU 0.00
WR Jordan Addison MIN 0.00

Matt: best possible 122.62 (left 22.30 on the bench, 82% efficient) · Asher: best possible 128.20 (left 2.80 on the bench, 98% efficient)

QB Kyler Murray ARI “Kyler? I hardly know her!” 14.06
QB Jared Goff DET “Goofy Goff” 12.68
RB Saquon Barkley PHI 5.50
RB Derrick Henry BAL “Shocka” 9.70
RB Jordan Mason MIN 23.60
RB Kyren Williams LAR “Killa Kyren” 17.20
WR Nico Collins HOU “Freak-o (in the sheets) Collins” 14.40
WR A.J. Brown PHI “Sir Always Open” 16.90
WR Ladd McConkey LAC 4.10
WR Davante Adams LAR “Davante Dash” 11.60
WR Jameson Williams DET 4.30
WR Chris Olave NO “Everybody Injures Chris” 5.70
TE Sam LaPorta DET “Sam LaPortapotty” 3.30
TE Zach Ertz WAS 3.80
FLX D'Andre Swift RB · CHI 7.80
FLX Bucky Irving RB · TB “Bucky Bolts” 9.90
FLX James Conner RB · ARI 3.70
FLX Alvin Kamara RB · NO “Super K” 5.60
K Tyler Loop BAL 7.00
K Ka'imi Fairbairn HOU 4.00
DEF Green Bay Packers GB 8.00
DEF Atlanta Falcons ATL 3.00
Bench 20.00 18.80
WR Jakobi Meyers LV 6.30
WR Elic Ayomanor TEN 9.80
TE David Njoku CLE 4.00
RB Najee Harris LAC 2.80
WR Calvin Ridley TEN 2.70
WR Christian Kirk HOU 2.50
WR Cedric Tillman CLE 2.60
WR Travis Hunter JAX 2.10
RB Brian Robinson SF 2.20
RB Rhamondre Stevenson NE 1.60
RB Rachaad White TB 1.40
QB Jayden Daniels WAS 0.00
WR Troy Franklin DEN 0.80
TE Darren Waller MIA 0.00
WR Jayden Reed GB 0.00
WR Chris Godwin TB 0.00

Abe: best possible 99.06 (left 3.30 on the bench, 97% efficient) · Blake: best possible 104.28 (left 4.20 on the bench, 96% efficient)

QB Patrick Mahomes KC “Mahomosexual” 13.16
QB Daniel Jones IND “Daniel Stephen Jones III” 15.82
RB De'Von Achane MIA “Smeg’Mon Gaychane” 9.10
RB J.K. Dobbins DEN 14.30
RB Josh Jacobs GB “Stupid Washed Bitch Boy” 7.40
RB David Montgomery DET 28.40
WR Drake London ATL 5.50
WR CeeDee Lamb DAL “Bum city” 0.00
WR Wan'Dale Robinson NYG “Wang’Gayle Slobinson” 2.60
WR Jaxon Smith-Njigba SEA 15.60
WR George Pickens DAL “Move Over CeeDee, You’re Washed” 12.80
WR DeVonta Smith PHI 12.00
TE Brock Bowers LV “Cock Powers” 5.80
TE Tucker Kraft GB 2.90
FLX Jonathan Taylor RB · IND “Gaylor” 29.80
FLX Breece Hall RB · NYJ 5.20
FLX Cam Skattebo RB · NYG “Crown Prince of CTE” 18.10
FLX Quentin Johnston WR · LAC “I always believed in you” 8.90
K Cameron Dicker LAC “Chinese” 12.00
K Matt Prater BUF 8.00
DEF Houston Texans HOU 5.00
DEF Minnesota Vikings MIN 30.00
Bench 17.90 35.46
WR DJ Moore CHI 8.80
QB Aaron Rodgers PIT 12.66
RB Kenneth Gainwell PIT 8.60
WR Khalil Shakir BUF 10.50
WR Jayden Higgins HOU 0.50
TE Jake Ferguson DAL 8.20
QB J.J. McCarthy MIN 0.00
RB Tyrone Tracy NYG 3.60
WR Adam Thielen MIN 0.00
WR Joshua Palmer BUF 0.50
TE Michael Mayer LV 0.00
WR Rashee Rice KC 0.00
WR Xavier Worthy KC 0.00
QB Brock Purdy SF 0.00

Hunter: best possible 128.66 (left 7.40 on the bench, 94% efficient) · Ethan: best possible 156.92 (left 15.80 on the bench, 90% efficient)

QB Lamar Jackson BAL “Daddy Lamy ” 27.02
QB Jalen Hurts PHI 29.04
RB Ashton Jeanty LV 6.30
RB Bhayshul Tuten JAX 8.10
RB Javonte Williams DAL 7.20
RB Kenneth Walker SEA 17.00
WR Tetairoa McMillan CAR 4.80
WR Ja'Marr Chase CIN “Touchdownless like a Moron” 3.90
WR DK Metcalf PIT 9.20
WR Darnell Mooney ATL 4.40
WR Courtland Sutton DEN 17.80
WR Deebo Samuel WAS “Slowest Fucker in the League” 2.90
TE Juwan Johnson NO 5.10
TE T.J. Hockenson MIN 10.90
FLX Quinshon Judkins RB · CLE 15.50
FLX Calvin Austin WR · PIT 9.40
FLX Keon Coleman WR · BUF 2.00
FLX Michael Pittman WR · IND 13.30
K Brandon Aubrey DAL 8.00
K Jake Elliott PHI 3.00
DEF Tampa Bay Buccaneers TB 14.00
DEF Washington Commanders WAS 11.00
Bench 32.10 58.42
TE Mark Andrews BAL 21.10
WR Tre Tucker LV 32.90
RB Isiah Pacheco KC 4.80
QB Baker Mayfield TB 17.72
WR Jalen Nailor MIN 3.70
TE Kyle Pitts ATL 3.90
WR Josh Downs IND 3.40
WR Jerry Jeudy CLE 1.70
WR Cooper Kupp SEA 3.10
RB RJ Harvey DEN 1.60
RB Jaylen Wright MIA 0.00
WR Hunter Renfrow CAR 0.60
DEF Baltimore Ravens BAL -4.00
TE Evan Engram DEN 0.00

Courtney: best possible 136.02 (left 19.10 on the bench, 86% efficient) · Dominic: best possible 142.94 (left 30.00 on the bench, 79% efficient)

QB Jordan Love GB 12.12
QB Dak Prescott DAL “Dik Poopscoot” 14.04
RB Bijan Robinson ATL “Bird” 11.10
RB Christian McCaffrey SF 14.00
RB Jaylen Warren PIT “Jaylen the Lesser” 8.10
RB Chuba Hubbard CAR 7.60
WR Puka Nacua LAR “Pukake” 11.80
WR Tyreek Hill MIA “stay at home dad” 10.90
WR Malik Nabers NYG “MaLigma” 1.30
WR Terry McLaurin WAS 7.40
WR Brian Thomas JAX “Brain Tommy” 5.50
WR Zay Flowers BAL “Flowers for Zay-lgernon” 1.30
TE Trey McBride ARI “McGroom” 10.30
TE Dalton Kincaid BUF 12.60
FLX Tee Higgins WR · CIN “TeeHee” 1.50
FLX Keenan Allen WR · LAC 12.50
FLX Jacory Croskey-Merritt RB · WAS 9.10
FLX Travis Etienne RB · JAX 11.60
K Will Reichard MIN “Fuck baby you’re so fucking skol” 14.00
K Spencer Shrader IND 11.00
DEF San Francisco 49ers SF “539ers” 5.00
DEF Seattle Seahawks SEA 16.00
Bench 34.26 47.62
QB C.J. Stroud HOU 12.36
RB Omarion Hampton LAC 18.90
WR Jaylen Waddle MIA 9.90
QB Bo Nix DEN 13.42
RB Trey Benson ARI 5.10
DEF Denver Broncos DEN 9.00
TE Tyler Warren IND 3.80
RB Nick Chubb HOU 4.00
TE Colston Loveland CHI 3.10
WR Stefon Diggs NE 2.30
RB Kaleb Johnson PIT 0.00
RB Isaac Guerendo SF 0.00
QB Joe Burrow CIN 0.00
WR Brandon Aiyuk SF 0.00
WR Jauan Jennings SF 0.00
RB Zach Charbonnet SEA 0.00

Tom: best possible 102.26 (left 12.44 on the bench, 88% efficient) · Dan: best possible 136.54 (left 17.60 on the bench, 87% efficient)