Season 11 · 2024

Week 1

The week

Box scores

QB Josh Allen BUF “Jesus Josh” 31.18
QB Brock Purdy SF 10.34
RB Najee Harris LAC “Najee No-Nutz” 7.90
RB Braelon Allen NYJ 1.70
RB James Cook BUF “Discount Dalvin” 10.30
RB Josh Jacobs GB 10.40
WR Amari Cooper “Amari Pooper” 1.60
WR Stefon Diggs NE 15.90
WR Mike Evans TB “Massive Sack Mike” 18.10
WR Jordan Addison MIN 3.50
WR DK Metcalf PIT “Daddy DeKaylin” 2.90
WR Xavier Worthy KC 18.80
TE Travis Kelce KC “What the fuck, man” 3.40
TE Jake Ferguson DAL 1.50
FLX Breece Hall RB · NYJ “Big Ballz Breece” 13.30
FLX David Montgomery RB · DET 15.30
FLX Garrett Wilson WR · NYJ “Glizzy Garrett” 6.00
FLX Jerome Ford RB · CLE 12.90
K Harrison Butker KC “Big Cuck/Bitchmade Energy” 9.00
K Will Reichard MIN 4.00
DEF Baltimore Ravens BAL “Hit $quad” 4.00
DEF Pittsburgh Steelers PIT 12.00
Bench 25.90 14.82
WR Tank Dell HOU 5.90
QB Caleb Williams CHI 7.22
WR Keon Coleman BUF 5.10
WR Quentin Johnston LAC 3.80
TE David Njoku CLE 4.40
WR Jaxon Smith-Njigba SEA 1.90
RB Tyjae Spears TEN 3.20
WR Curtis Samuel BUF 1.50
WR Michael Pittman IND 3.10
TE Cole Kmet CHI 0.40
RB Chase Brown CIN 2.30
RB Jaylen Wright MIA 0.00
WR Diontae Johnson CLE 1.90
RB Christian McCaffrey SF 0.00
WR Tee Higgins CIN 0.00

Matt: best possible 115.18 (left 7.50 on the bench, 93% efficient) · Ethan: best possible 108.44 (left 2.10 on the bench, 98% efficient)

QB Kyler Murray ARI “Kyler? I hardly know her!” 14.18
QB Anthony Richardson IND “Def NOT GOATed” 27.08
RB Alvin Kamara NO 17.00
RB Rachaad White TB 10.60
RB Aaron Jones MIN “Aaron Bones” 16.90
RB James Conner ARI 16.30
WR Rashee Rice KC “Drives Drunk” 10.30
WR Tyreek Hill MIA “Child Rights Advocate” 19.00
WR Chris Olave NO “Chris allovthesenuts” 1.10
WR Amon-Ra St. Brown DET 1.30
WR Nico Collins HOU “Freak-o (in the sheets) Collins” 11.70
WR Davante Adams LAR 5.90
TE Sam LaPorta DET “Sam LaPortapotty” 4.50
TE Pat Freiermuth PIT 2.70
FLX Zamir White RB · LV 2.60
FLX Rome Odunze WR · CHI “Dome Oh-Cumsies” 1.10
FLX Marvin Harrison WR · ARI “Marvin “Sued By Fanatics” Harrison” 0.40
FLX Tony Pollard RB · TEN “STILL Zeke’s Father” 15.40
K Jake Moody SF “Jake Doody” 26.00
K Justin Tucker “Bustin Fucker” 8.00
DEF Kansas City Chiefs KC “loses to mn in the sb” 4.00
DEF San Francisco 49ers SF 6.00
Bench 66.46 42.86
RB J.K. Dobbins DEN 19.90
RB Ezekiel Elliott 10.90
RB Rhamondre Stevenson NE 18.60
QB Justin Herbert LAC 10.36
QB Dak Prescott DAL 11.46
WR Ladd McConkey LAC 9.90
WR Jerry Jeudy CLE 8.50
RB Justice Hill BAL 5.50
RB Devin Singletary NYG 5.20
RB Rico Dowdle CAR 3.20
RB Jaylen Warren PIT 2.00
RB Ray Davis BUF 2.70
WR DeAndre Hopkins BAL 0.80
RB Carson Steele KC 0.30

Abe: best possible 151.58 (left 42.90 on the bench, 72% efficient) · Asher: best possible 131.78 (left 18.40 on the bench, 86% efficient)

QB Jalen Hurts PHI “Gaylen Squirts” 18.42
QB Patrick Mahomes KC “Kermit” 15.14
RB De'Von Achane MIA “Smeg’Mon Gaychane” 16.00
RB Bijan Robinson ATL “Bird” 11.10
RB Chuba Hubbard CAR “Chubby Sucker” 1.40
RB Jonathan Taylor IND “If he gets hurt ill cry” 10.80
WR CeeDee Lamb DAL “PeePee PooPoo” 8.60
WR Justin Jefferson MIN “my dad” 11.90
WR Drake London ATL “Kirk’s New Favorite Target” 1.50
WR Puka Nacua LAR “Pukake” 4.20
WR Keenan Allen IND “GG Allin” 2.90
WR Malik Nabers NYG 6.60
TE Brock Bowers LV “Cock Powers” 5.80
TE Trey McBride ARI “McGroom” 3.00
FLX Javonte Williams RB · DAL 2.30
FLX DeVonta Smith WR · PHI 8.40
FLX Brian Robinson RB · WAS “B-Slob” 14.90
FLX Raheem Mostert RB · LV “Mr Mustard” 1.90
K Jake Elliott PHI “Smelliott” 10.00
K Daniel Carlson LV “Vikings Legend” 4.00
DEF Dallas Cowboys DAL “Mike Zimmer” 17.00
DEF Philadelphia Eagles PHI 3.00
Bench 39.10 30.28
RB Jordan Mason MIN 21.20
WR Brian Thomas JAX 10.70
WR Rashid Shaheed NO 13.30
QB Aaron Rodgers PIT 9.58
TE Taysom Hill NO 3.60
WR Tyler Lockett TEN 7.70
RB Samaje Perine CIN 1.00
RB Trey Benson ARI 1.80
RB MarShawn Lloyd GB 0.00
TE Evan Engram DEN 0.50
RB Dalvin Cook 0.00
RB Kimani Vidal LAC 0.00
TE T.J. Hockenson MIN 0.00
WR Hollywood Brown KC 0.00
WR Dontayvion Wicks GB 0.00

Hunter: best possible 131.72 (left 32.90 on the bench, 75% efficient) · Tom: best possible 92.34 (left 12.30 on the bench, 87% efficient)

QB Lamar Jackson BAL “Daddy Lamy ” 25.12
QB Jordan Love GB 17.40
RB Travis Etienne JAX 9.90
RB D'Andre Swift CHI 5.00
RB Isiah Pacheco KC 13.80
RB Zack Moss CIN 12.10
WR A.J. Brown PHI 17.90
WR Brandon Aiyuk SF 2.80
WR George Pickens DAL “Slim Pickens ” 7.50
WR Deebo Samuel WAS 13.70
WR Jayden Reed GB 29.10
WR Christian Kirk HOU 3.00
TE Dalton Kincaid BUF 1.10
TE Kyle Pitts ATL 8.60
FLX Joe Mixon RB · HOU “His year ” 23.80
FLX Romeo Doubs WR · GB 5.00
FLX Austin Ekeler RB · WAS 6.20
FLX Xavier Legette WR · CAR 3.50
K Brandon Aubrey DAL 21.00
K Younghoe Koo ATL 4.00
DEF Cincinnati Bengals CIN 2.00
DEF Tampa Bay Buccaneers TB 3.00
Bench 38.08 20.92
QB Matthew Stafford LAR 15.68
QB Tua Tagovailoa MIA 18.62
WR Khalil Shakir BUF 10.20
WR Darnell Mooney ATL 1.50
WR Calvin Ridley TEN 5.00
RB Jaleel McLaughlin DEN 0.80
WR Adam Thielen CAR 4.90
QB J.J. McCarthy MIN 0.00
RB Tyler Allgeier ATL 2.10
TE Ben Sinnott WAS 0.00
WR Adonai Mitchell IND 0.20
WR Jahan Dotson PHI 0.00
RB Jonathon Brooks CAR 0.00

Courtney: best possible 161.42 (left 4.00 on the bench, 98% efficient) · Dominic: best possible 79.32 (left 1.22 on the bench, 98% efficient)

QB Joe Burrow CIN 8.06
QB C.J. Stroud HOU “sophomore slump no 🧢” 18.66
RB Kyren Williams LAR 11.40
RB Jahmyr Gibbs DET “Sanic - gotta go fast” 13.40
RB Derrick Henry BAL 10.60
RB Saquon Barkley PHI “MVP?” 31.20
WR Ja'Marr Chase CIN 6.20
WR Jaylen Waddle MIA “🐧🐧” 11.20
WR Cooper Kupp SEA 18.00
WR DJ Moore CHI 5.00
WR Christian Watson GB 7.30
WR Zay Flowers BAL “Flowers for Zay-lgernon” 5.10
TE Mark Andrews BAL 1.40
TE George Kittle SF 4.00
FLX Kenneth Walker RB · SEA 16.90
FLX Terry McLaurin WR · WAS 1.70
FLX Joshua Palmer WR · BUF 1.50
FLX Chris Godwin WR · TB 14.30
K Ka'imi Fairbairn HOU 17.00
K Evan McPherson CIN 6.00
DEF Buffalo Bills BUF 5.00
DEF Seattle Seahawks SEA 9.00
Bench 73.06 36.50
QB Jayden Daniels WAS 28.16
RB Jamaal Williams 11.10
WR Jameson Williams DET 19.40
QB Kirk Cousins ATL 8.20
RB Zach Charbonnet SEA 10.10
WR Jakobi Meyers LV 6.40
RB Bucky Irving TB 7.60
RB Ty Chandler MIN 4.20
WR Gabe Davis 6.20
WR Courtland Sutton DEN 3.80
TE Dalton Schultz HOU 1.60
RB Gus Edwards 2.80
WR Mike Williams LAC 0.00
RB Blake Corum LAR 0.00
RB Nick Chubb HOU 0.00

Blake: best possible 145.46 (left 42.10 on the bench, 71% efficient) · Dan: best possible 130.36 (left 10.80 on the bench, 92% efficient)